You are worthy.
Many people ask themselves in their day-to-day lives what I have to offer. Self-worth is “the internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others” (UNC Wilmington, 2020). There are many different ways to help cultivate our self-worth. It is our responsibility to know what one thinks and believe in ourselves. A common saying is, “what others think of you is none of your business.” The business you want to BOOM in, is what YOU think of yourself! When we shift our focus on what is in our control, we may feel more empowered to have a deeper relationship within ourselves and be more emotionally available to one’s needs. If we take the time to get to know ourselves, we can explore where our interests lie and how that translates into creating purpose in our Life.
The purpose is the vehicle for being. If we dare to discover what we value, we can use our values to help make an impact in our internal and external world. People love things like family, friends, helping the community, social justice, careers, sports, hobbies, being in contact with nature & animals, and so much more. Ask yourself, what do I value? The things you value are things that you may find meaningful. The purpose of doing something, being intentional, can be as small as doing something because it brings you joy to as large as something that helps the welfare of another being. Everyone brings something different to the table. When you focus on what you value, you help feed your sense of self-worth and add VALUE to the things around you.
5 Tips for building a firm foundation in your sense of self-worth include:
1. Awareness of the Social Media “Trap” and “Comparison Game”
There is a natural inclination for one to compare themselves with others. Like a supercomputer, the brain is programmed to compare information as it stores it. Be precautious about how much time you invest in social media because “research shows that the more time people spend on Facebook and Instagram, the more they compare themselves socially. This social comparison is linked, among other things, to lower self-esteem and high social anxiety” (Laplante, 2022). Things that people compare/compete with one other consist of appearance, net worth, social circles, career, and what you have achieved (Ackerman, 2018).
2. Process and Begin Healing from past experiences impacting your current reality.
Traumatic experiences sometimes “alter the lens” in which one views their self-worth. Examples of traumatic events that may lead a person to perceive they have low self-worth if they experience events such as verbal abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. Ways to help children & adults to begin to form a helpful sense of Self is by “providing unconditional love, respect, [and] positive regard” (Ackerman, 2018). Your past does not dictate your future, however, if there are things that are still affecting your present reality, it can be beneficial to reflect on the origins of the low self-worth beliefs and explore ways to rise from the pain.
3. Choose Self-Acceptance over Shame
Gaining awareness of how you perceive yourself in different scenarios is beneficial; are you coming from a place of self-acceptance or shame. Shame, “is a self-evaluative emotion that involves concern and attention about oneself. When shame is perceived as an emotionally painful emotion, it may have the power for self-break. When individuals experience shame, self-devaluation is perceived” (Budiarto & Fadilla Helmi, 2021). Carol Yung, a psychologist who founded analytical psychology, said, “Shame is a soul-eating emotion” (Family Services Regina, 2022). Hence, shame has no positive connotation with self-worth. I invite you the next time you feel any sense of shame to pause, reflect, surrender shame (because it is a feeling that does not serve you), and replace shame with compassion towards yourself.
4. Spend Time With others that “Add Value” to your Life
Cultivate relationships with others that “add” to your Life. Just like laughter is contagious, so is acts of kindness. When you have the opportunity to plant seeds of care and love into others, you also have the opportunity to open your hands to receive. Humans are social creatures and are not meant to live Life alone. When you spend time with friends, family members, significant others, teammates, and anyone else that cares about you, they are part of the “cheerleading team” that wants to see you live a purposeful and meaningful life.
5. Saying Positive Affirmation
When you say things such as: “I am capable….I am doing my current best…..I matter…I am enough, etc.” the mind eventually begins to accept and act upon those thoughts. “Words have the power to kill or give life”; choose Life!
Regardless of where you are on our journey of existence, know you are always WORTHY! In the words of Og Mandino, the author of The Greatest Salesman in the World, “I will win, and I will become a great salesman, for I am unique. I am nature’s greatest miracle” (Mandino, 1968). Your self-worth is a business that will never go “bankrupt.” I invite you to clarify what Self-Worth truly means and incorporate the five tips listed above to maintain and enhance your Self Worth. You can begin at this precise moment and repeat, “I AM WORTHY TODAY AND ALWAYS.”
Resources
Ackerman, C. (2018). What is Self-Worth, and How Do We Rebuild It. Positive Psychology.
Budiarto, Y. & Fadilla Helmi, A. (2021). Shame and Self-Esteem: A Meta-Analysis. National
Library of Medicine. 17(2), 131-145. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc /articles/PMC8768475/#:~:text=Shame%20is%20a%20self%2Devaluative,it%20may%20lower%20self%2Desteem.
Jacobson, S. (2022). The Real Reason Your Self-Worth Is Low and How to Fix It. Harley
Therapy Mental Health Blog. https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/low-self-worth.htm
Laplante, S. (2022). How Social Media Can Crush Your Self-Esteem. The Conversation.
Mandino, O. (1968). The 10 Scrolls From The Greatest Sales Man. Bantam Books.
Overcome Shame and Restore Your Sense of Self-Esteem. (2022). Family Service Regina.
https://familyserviceregina.com/overcome-shame-and-restore-your-self-esteem/
Self-Worth. (2020). UNC Wilmington Counseling Center Website.