Why do We Push Ourselves to be Super Woman?
When I became a mom, I honestly didn’t really realize how much my life would change. As an ambitious mental health therapist, I went back to work ready to conquer the world. Then, reality hit and I realized that I could not continue with the pace I had before having my baby. My professional life changed, socializing changed, time for myself changed, even how clean my house was on a daily basis changed… I had to find a new way to manage my responsibilities and my new role as a mommy.
It is no news, that as women, we take on many different roles in our lives. Many of my clients come see me wondering how to manage the stress of being a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a professional. But since having my daughter, I have the ability to truly connect and help moms to find balance.
Here are some tips on how we can reduce stress while getting things done:
It’s ok not to be Super Woman: Lowering some of your expectations as a mother is a difficult but essential part of stress reduction. If you are a working professional, working more than 40 hours a week, might not be an option now that you are a mom. For some mommies, working full time is not an option anymore. Part-time work may be the way to go. Finding the right balance between work and parental responsibilities is a difficult task. The same applies to home responsibilities. It’s ok not to wash every dish every day or do laundry as regular as you used to.
Prioritize: Organize your to-do list in order of urgency (must be done today) and importance (this has to be done). Pick the top three and let the rest wait for another day. Transitioning into parenthood may mean your priorities change, after all, there is a new little person that will become your top priority, and he or she will take a lot of time out of your day.
Be flexible: If the top three things you prioritized in your to-do list cannot be accomplished today because something unexpected happened—such as your child got sick, or one of your to-do items took longer than expected; it’s ok, make it a priority for the next day.
Recruit help: Get as many people that you know to help you with your children or completing chores. Recruit your family, your partner’s family, friends that you trust. In addition, if you can afford paid help with laundry, cleaning, cooking, and pet care, go for it! It’s not for nothing that the old saying exist: “It takes an army to raise a child.” No army is formed by one soldier.
Socialize with other mommies: Join mommy play dates and look for child-friendly activities in your area.
Use internet resources: Sites like ihelpmoms.com provide resources, support, and tools to solve every day mommy issues. You will realize soon, you are not alone!
Have mommy time: Make sure you listen to your emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and schedule time accordingly to meet them. Everybody’s needs are different, and it is important to acknowledge them and care for them. For some mommies, meeting with other mommies may be it. For others, it might mean carving time for a manicure or a pedicure, meditating, socializing without the children, or even taking a nap!
Create weekly schedules: Block times to meet responsibilities, family time, mommy time, and couple’s time. Keep in mind that flexibility is important in this tip as well.
This article was featured on ihelpmoms.com. Check out www.ihelpmoms.com for tips on how to make mommyhood easier!
To Your Family Success!
Your Therapy Friend,
Sofia Robirosa is the owner of Infinite Therapeutic Services and is a Relationships & Parenting Expert. She offers individual, couples, and family counseling to individuals seeking to enhance their relationships. Her private practice is located in Plantation, FL. She attended Nova Southeastern University for both her Bachelor and Master Degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and in Business Administration. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Leader in Active Parenting for children and teens, an evidenced based program. She is also a Certified Addictions Professional (CAP). She is a passionately committed therapist, who thoroughly takes pride and joy from her job. She enjoys working with a culturally diverse population and is bilingual in Spanish and English. She is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and an active volunteer of the Broward Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. She loves her family, which consists of her husband, daughter, and two dogs. Some of her interests outside of work include spending time outdoors, traveling, and dining. Read more about her at: www.infinitetherapeuticservices.com and follow her on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/infinitetherapy/