The month of love has come to an end. I love February, and it's not only because I may get beautiful flowers on Valentine's from my hubby, but because it is a reminder that love is a powerful and important part of our lives.
This is backed up by science. Check this out: Researchers say that people that are not in relationships die up to 15 years earlier than those that do have a romantic partner! That’s a staggering statistic, isn't it?
Now, you might be wondering how does this relate to your children, right? Well, research also shows that children learn the most from observing their parents, and secondly from what they are told to do. So as good parents, it is important to check in and know how our relationships are doing so that we know what our children are observing from us.
When I say relationships, I don't only mean our romantic relationship. What about the relationship with yourself, as well as with friends?
As a mom, wife, and counselor, I get the fact that it is hard to achieve balance - what is that, right? -. When we become parents juggling time for self-care, friendships, and our marriage gets really complicated. It feels like there is just not enough time.
BUT… A LITTLE GOES A LONG WAY!
When was the last time you did something for yourself?
When was the last time you caught up with a good friend?
When was the last time you connected with your spouse?
HERE IS WHAT YOUR CHILD WILL GET IF YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF, FRIENDS, AND YOUR SPOUSE:
3 TIPS TO HELP YOUR CHILD THRIVE IN HIS RELATIONSHIPS
Self-care: By taking some regular time for yourself, your children learn that it’s okay to recharge, and we teach our children that we need to put some fuel in our tanks to keep going. It gets very complicated to give when you are running on empty. Think of something that you enjoy doing and schedule it, just like you would schedule going to one of your children’s appointments. This can be something like reading a good book, going to the spa, getting a manicure or pedicure, a massage, working out, or simply taking a nap.
Nurture your friendships: Friendship is a very important component of life. Friends provide support, encouragement, and even entertainment. For some people, socializing is a form of self-care. What will your child learn from you having friends? They will learn how to have friends themselves and how to make them a part of their lives. They will get to understand the different roles of different people.
Don’t forget about the spouse: Maintaining the health of your marriage after having children is difficult. 2/3 of couples report dissatisfaction in their marriage once they become parents - are you one of them?- That’s nearly 70%!!! Being a spouse and parent is tough. Kids consume a lot of time and energy from us leaving very little time for romance. One way to start turning this around is by scheduling regular time to have alone time with your spouse. Just like with self-care, it may not happen if it’s not scheduled and made a priority. Alone time with your spouse does not mean always having to go out on dates, it can also be having a date at home, making a nice dinner, playing a board game, and having a good conversation about things that don't have to do with chores: Make these conversations about what connects you. Do you remember the conversations you used to have when you dated? They were filled with curiosity about what the other person liked and felt about things. We change every day a little! What’s on your spouse’s mind changes as well.
SO WHAT WILL YOUR CHILD LEARN BY OBSERVING YOUR MARRIAGE?
He will learn to have a romantic relationship and to value both of you as parents. And the benefits go beyond this, as research shows that your children will feel safe and develop emotionally and physically better if you have a healthy marriage.
If you feel guilty for doing any of this self-care things, think of the life lesson you are teaching your child when you take time for yourself, friends, and your spouse. Also, think that you will re-fuel your own tank, and you will be able to give more to your kiddos after.
Parenting is so much more than the relationship between the parent and the child since our children are little sponges, everything that we do has a powerful impact on them.
I'm going to plan a mommy-daughter activity for this week, as well as plan to go on a date with my hubby. What are you planning to do to help your child thrive in their relationship?
To the success of your family!
Your Therapy Friend,
Sofia
Sofia Robirosa is the owner of Infinite Therapeutic Services and is a Relationships & Parenting Expert. She offers individual, couples, and family counseling to individuals seeking to enhance their relationships. Her private practice is located in Plantation, FL. She attended Nova Southeastern University for both her Bachelor and Master Degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and in Business Administration. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Leader in Active Parenting for children and teens, an evidenced based program. She is also a Certified Addictions Professional (CAP). She is a passionately committed therapist, who thoroughly takes pride and joy from her job. She enjoys working with a culturally diverse population and is bilingual in Spanish and English. She is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and an active volunteer of the Broward Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. She loves her family, which consists of her husband, daughter, and two dogs. Some of her interests outside of work include spending time outdoors, traveling, and dining. Read more about her at: www.infinitetherapeuticservices.com and follow her on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/infinitetherapy/