Here are the 6 science-backed secrets to a better love life, according to Samantha Boardman, M.D.
1. What’s new? Charge yourself with detecting one way in which your partner is different each day. It will help you appreciate them more and remind you of what attracted you to them in the first place.
2. Celebrate. Studies show that how we respond to one another’s good news significantly predicts the quality of the relationship. Be actively interested and engaged the next time a loved one shares important news (instead of looking at your iPhone or engaging in one-upmanship)
3. Go for a walk. Walking hand-in-hand and side-by-side is a physical way to be in sync and attuned with your partner. Barbara Frederickson describes this as “positivity resonance” and researches how these micro-moments connect us to one another.
4. Do something new together. In The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests doing novel and exciting things together (skydiving, ballroom dancing, etc.). Couples who engage in exciting activities report more satisfaction with their relationships than those who engage in pleasant activities like going to a movie or cooking dinner.
5. Surprise. Unexpected moments and unpredictable pleasures fortify relationships. Disrupt your routine—go to a new brunch place on Sunday mornings, switch the side of the bed you sleep on, get a dog. As Lyubormisky writes, “We are less likely to take our marriage for granted when it continues to deliver strong emotional reactions in us.”
6. Write it down. According to research, couples that wrote about a recent disagreement from the perspective of a neutral third party had greater relationship satisfaction, passion, and desire over the long term. No essay is required. Writing about conflict resolution for seven minutes every four months does the trick.
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This article was originally posted on Psychologytoday.com and written by Samantha Boardman M.D.
Sofia Robirosa is the owner of Infinite Therapeutic Services and is a Relationships & Parenting Expert. She offers individual, couples, and family counseling to individuals seeking to enhance their relationships. Her private practice is located in Plantation, FL. She attended Nova Southeastern University for both her Bachelor and Master Degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and in Business Administration. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Leader in Active Parenting for children and teens, an evidenced based program. She is also a Certified Addictions Professional (CAP). She is a passionately committed therapist, who thoroughly takes pride and joy from her job. She enjoys working with a culturally diverse population and is bilingual in Spanish and English. She is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and an active volunteer of the Broward Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. She loves her family, which consists of her husband, daughter, and two dogs. Some of her interests outside of work include spending time outdoors, traveling, and dining. Read more about her at: www.infinitetherapeuticservices.com and follow her on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/infinitetherapy/