Are We A Good Fit For Couples Counseling?
You are at your wit's end. The arguing doesn’t stop, the “D” word is coming up all the time, and it’s just a conversation that doesn’t seem to stop.
You are here because you want to know if couples therapy or couples counseling might make this stop. You don’t want to get divorced if there is a way to avoid it.
Here are some issues that can be addressed in couples counseling:
Communication issues: Whether it’s sex that you argue about, money or the kids, communication is essential to feel close in a marriage.
Affair and Trust Recovery: Maybe there was an affair, maybe there was not, but the trust is just not there.
Rekindling of Love: One or both of you feel that saying: “I love you” does not mean the same anymore.
Improve Sexual Intimacy in the Relationship: You may be having sex a handful of times a year or maybe it’s been years. One or both of you feel that the topic of sex is impossible to talk and fix together.
You will learn how to communicate effectively with your partner and learn to listen to him, too.
You will learn to handle conflict and when to stop before it gets worse.
You will have the chance to talk about your concerns and expectations within a safe non-judgmental environment.
You will learn how to share the parenting responsibilities if you have children
Recover the sexual interest and romance in your partner
You will get tools to protect your relationship from the family or work interference and reconnect emotionally with your partner.
You will be guided towards the rebuilding of trust
Not all counselors work the same way. In my practice, the first session is essential. I interview each of you separately or together in order to learn about your concerns and understand your expectations for the marriage. This is a discovery session for both the client and counselor so it takes longer than a regular session. A good therapist will collaboratively design a plan for you on this initial session. The plan has to include the goals, the number of sessions, as well as the frequency. I always try to work with my clients in a short-term timeframe focusing on finding results.
If you are feeling hopeless, mad or hurt towards your partner, then it may be a good idea to look for counseling. The same way you hire a lawyer when you have legal difficulties, consider hiring a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist to help you going through the storm. Don’t wait until you two are at the divorce lawyer’s office. Instead, try to get a good Couples Therapist to guide you in the process of healing the marriage.
Marriage can bring joy to your life through building goals together. Here I share with you a very sweet video from one of the best movies ever – Up! - about married life.
Video: Married Life – Carl & Ellie
Here are some tips for you when choosing who to hire to be your Couples Counselor:
You should feel comfortable talking to the counselor.
Get a counselor that speaks your language, if possible.
Choose a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist as the training is specifically on understanding relationships.
Specialty is an important factor as well. What’s the counselor’s graduate education on, do they specialize in a specific method? Graduate education is important but also ask if they are specialized in treating the specific concern you have through extra training. These are important questions that may help you avoid losing precious time and money.
You and the counselor should set goals in the first session.
The counselor should give you the timeframe to achieve the goals.
Considering counseling to save your marriage is an important decision. Make sure to ask all the questions you have in the initial consultation to have a great fit with your counselor.
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To your relationship success!
Your Therapy Friend,
Sofia Robirosa is the owner of Infinite Therapeutic Services and is a Relationships & Parenting Expert. She offers individual, couples, and family counseling to individuals seeking to enhance their relationships. Her private practice is located in Plantation, FL. She attended Nova Southeastern University for both her Bachelor and Master Degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and in Business Administration. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Leader in Active Parenting for children and teens, an evidenced based program. She is also a Certified Addictions Professional (CAP). She is a passionately committed therapist, who thoroughly takes pride and joy from her job. She enjoys working with a culturally diverse population and is bilingual in Spanish and English. She is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and an active volunteer of the Broward Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. She loves her family, which consists of her husband, daughter, and two dogs. Some of her interests outside of work include spending time outdoors, traveling, and dining. Read more about her at: www.infinitetherapeuticservices.com and follow her on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/infinitetherapy/