To a certain degree, Valentine’s day seems to cause anxiety for everyone. It does not matter if you’re single, in a loving relationship, or a rocky relationship; Valentine’s does bring anxiety all around.
If you’re single, you feel the pressure of having to find “The One”, it is a reminder that you are all alone with “no one” to love and to love you back. If you’re in a relationship, you might feel the pressure to buy things and the demand to be romantic. Experts say that some people get anxious with just the thought of having to be romantic.
TV commercials, Social Media Ads, and society have instructed us that not only must we be in a relationship, but we have to be in a “perfect romantic” relationship. Hence, why we all get a little anxious around Valentine’s day.
Instead of surrendering to its pressure and the often unrealistic expectations that come with it, see it as a day to love yourself and others in an extensive, stress-free way that doesn't play into the hype. You don't have to be locked into the commercialized concept of Valentine's Day; you can make it whatever you want it to be. You can even disregard the day altogether.
Here are some tips to cope with anxiety, regardless of your relationship status (single, in a relationship, married, complicated).
Relationship or Not:
Practice self-care: Whether you’re in a relationship or not, Valentine’s day is about celebrating LOVE and that includes self-love. So give yourself a little love. Treat yourself to a massage, meditation, or even self-pleasure. Whatever self-love looks like for you, just do it
Remind yourself there are several different types of LOVE. Love for your family, love for your friends, and even love for your co-workers. Celebrate the love you have for the people in your life. Even if it’s just a simple call or text to remind them on this day that you love them very much. Remember, family and friends, are forever.
It's okay to ignore valentine’s day. If you are set in stone that you don’t care and you’re okay ignoring Valentine’s day, then just ignore it. However, if you’re in a relationship with someone who does like valentine’s day you might have to negotiate and find some middle ground. Click HERE! for tips on how you go about negotiating valentine's day with your partner.
If You’re in Relationship:
Talk about it beforehand. The two of you might have different expectations on Valentine’s day, talk about it, and set realistic expectations. If your expectations align with your partner, then GREAT, if not then it is time to negotiate and find some middle ground.
Set expectations on what’s romantic. You don't have to book reservations at the fanciest restaurant in town and shower them with flowers and heart shaped candy. Romance is about showing you care and loving your partner. You can do this by picking up a chore your partner hates doing or staying in bed a little longer. However, if both of you are on board with buying gifts, then go for it. This is about creating your own and unique form of romance.
If You’re Single:
Surround yourself with other single people. This could be hanging out with your single friends, and if all of your friends are in a relationship then go out to a social activity for singles. There are plenty of Valentine's day events for singles. Look for them online, I’m sure you will find a lot of options. Just pick on and go out
Create a dating profile. If you are single and ready to get back on the dating scene then valentine's day could be the day to create that profile and start fishing.
Treat yourself. This is the perfect opportunity to find a way to love yourself even more. In the end, self-love is the one thing you will always need, single or not.
Your Therapy Friend,
Sofia Robirosa is the owner of Infinite Therapeutic Services and is a Perinatal & Relationships Expert. She offers individual, couples, and family counseling to individuals seeking to enhance their relationship with their children and significant other. Her private practice is located in Plantation, FL. She attended Nova Southeastern University for both her Bachelor and Master Degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and in Business Administration. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Perinatal Mental Health Certified Professional, and a Leader in Active Parenting for children and teens. She loves her family, which consists of her husband, daughter and son, and two dogs. Some of her interests outside of work include spending time outdoors, traveling, and dining. Read more about her at: www.infinitetherapeuticservices.com and follow her on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/infinitetherapy/