First things first, have you ever thought of having a new year resolution that involves your marriage? During the beginning of the year, the media heavily talks about weight loss, smoking cessation, job or career changes, but there is little talk about relationships and how this can also be a part of having a better life during the next year. What’s best than experiencing peace and harmony at home?
After all, healthy relationships have an immeasurable positive effect in our lives. Research links healthy relationships to overall happiness in life, less medical problems, less mental health issues, and even to a lower risk of dementia. Isn't this powerful?
So before we get into the meat and potatoes of this, let’s look at the differences between goals, resolutions, and intentions as per dictionary.com.
Goal: “The result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.” So, what are you trying to achieve?
Intention: “Purpose or attitude toward the effect of one's actions or conduct.” So, why? For what purpose?
Resolution: “The act of resolving or determining upon an action, a course of action, method, procedure, etc.” So, once you know the purpose, then how are you going to achieve it?
Here is how this would translate into a relationship. For example, if you want to stop arguing with your spouse, you are probably looking for peace at home. The goal might be “to stop arguing” but the intention is to gain peace at home. The resolution might sound something like: “To find peace within my relationship with my significant other by learning how to communicate better.”
So take a look at your relationship and ask yourself:
What would I like to see more of in my relationship?
What would I like to see less of my relationship?
Is there something lacking in my relationship?
And examine closely what the intention for your relationship should be for this year.
Many find that ultimately they want in their relationship with their significant other: peace, harmony, closeness and connection to one another. Do any these intentions resonate with you?
Once you are clear about your intention, explore what part you can play in making that happen with your spouse. One of the most powerful parts of determining goals, intentions, and resolutions is that it requires a deep look at ourselves by becoming accountable and avoiding blame. Gandhi once said: “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” In romantic relationships, this is no different. There is a need of two individuals becoming equally accountable—emphasis in equally, to reconnect to the deep love once brought you together.
Just thinking about this will begin to shift things between you and your loved one. Try it!
I wish you a year where you fall back in love or deepen your love with your spouse. Click here to get your monthly relationship challenge to Fall & Stay in love with your spouse in the coming year!
To Your Relationship Success!
Your Therapy Friend,
Sofia
Sofia Robirosa is the owner of Infinite Therapeutic Services and is a Relationships & Parenting Expert. She offers individual, couples, and family counseling to individuals seeking to enhance their relationships. Her private practice is located in Plantation, FL. She attended Nova Southeastern University for both her Bachelor and Master Degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and in Business Administration. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Leader in Active Parenting for children and teens, an evidenced based program. She is also a Certified Addictions Professional (CAP). She is a passionately committed therapist, who thoroughly takes pride and joy from her job. She enjoys working with a culturally diverse population and is bilingual in Spanish and English. She is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and an active volunteer of the Broward Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. She loves her family, which consists of her husband, daughter, and two dogs. Some of her interests outside of work include spending time outdoors, traveling, and dining. Read more about her at: www.infinitetherapeuticservices.com and follow her on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/infinitetherapy/