How to Involve a Loved One in Holiday Festivities With Chronic Medical Issues
- Infinite Therapeutic Srvs
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
The Holidays are such a spirited time. There is shopping to look forward to, people to reconnect with, events to attend, and vacations to look forward to. But for some people, chronic medical issues can place a heavy burden on feeling part of it all. It may leave said persons feeling left out, unimportant, depressed, and lonely. With all the running around, you may feel “taking care of your loved one” as an added stressor, and perhaps grapple with feelings of guilt, shame, and resentment. It’s only natural.
But, there are steps you can take to reduce those heavy feelings and experience positive moments and memories.
Create new holiday traditions that consider the family member’s limitations. For example, if they tire quickly, or require the use of a wheelchair, new traditions can range from timed activities, a specific time of day, and weather. For example, a special picnic at a park from 12 -3 p.m., or a special day of shopping just between you and your loved one that includes hot cocoa, a special lunch, and an early exchange of a silly gift.
Remember that you are not responsible for your loved one's happiness. During times of special events, we may at times believe if our loved one is struggling with depression or loneliness, we need to become an entertainer. Or maybe we believe we need to miss out on events to prevent that person from feeling left out. Rather, see yourself as a person who already is demonstrating they are loved, important, and wanted; and how this adds positivity to their lives overall.
When attending events, allow pre-planned needs to decrease last-minute stressors. For example, a special tote bag that has medications, blankets, socks (i.e., compression socks), snacks (if on a specific diet), and any other item that will provide an ease in enjoying the event or gathering.
Have a special code or language. For example, a special code may be a hand signal that indicates your loved one needs you. Or an inside word that indicates your loved one is tired and is ready to call it a night.
Be clear about the timing of attendance. If your loved one seems to be a bit more moody in their decision to remain at a gathering, and this leads you to feel irritable or angry with the loved one ‘ruining the day/night,’ have a conversation prior to attending. For example, “What is something we can anticipate that may influence you to want to leave early?” or “Is there a specific amount of time you believe you will feel okay staying?” Engage in this conversation with compassion and understanding, and avoid tones of sarcasm, irritability, or resentment, which will only give your loved one the impression that they are a burden.
Once at the gathering/event, remind yourself that your loved one more than likely has a different viewpoint of energy, chattiness, or commitment to sticking it out till the end. Spend time sitting with them, singing along to a song if music is playing, and bringing others around them when having a conversation so they feel included, important and engaged rather than sitting alone forgotten in a corner while others enjoy each other's company.
In the home, schedule a special day watching Christmas movies, sharing memories, thoughts, and feelings of your love and appreciation of them. A day of bonding that allows them to feel their life, thoughts, and history is just as interesting today as it once was. As well as what they look forward to.
Create a special accessory for both yourself and your loved one that keeps you connected in a special way when in public. For example, a special bracelet, necklace, pin, or button on your sweaters. Any type of fun, pretty item that can create a warm, loving feeling of your love among others.
It's the holidays after all, so CELEBRATE! You are alive, breathing, thinking, feeling, engaging, and alive! Which means your life is available to feel gratitude and blessings in small things.
Whether your life is the perfect picture or not, it still has potential for more! The love and time you give to your loved one is a healing balm for your soul. Let that inspire you to have more!
For more resources like this, please check out our other tips here. You can always find us at 954-903-1676 for counseling services.
Infinite Therapeutic Services |Couples & Marriage Counseling | Plantation, Florida
Helping couples reconnect, rebuild trust, and create lasting love through compassionate, evidence-based therapy.
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