If you are reading this article you probably are experiencing some difficulties in your marriage and don’t know what direction to take. You may feel overwhelmed by the idea of fixing your marriage by yourself. It’s a fact that maintaining a long term romantic relationship is not easy. In our country, almost 50% of marriages fail, so that’s a clear indication that there’s a lot to work on. In this article, I want to share with you 7 ways to save your marriage.
7 WAYS TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE:
Talk More: Communication between both of you is the key to success, because communication gives a sense of connection and understanding while learning new things about each other. It also allows a medium to solve problems as a couple. Give your total attention when talking to your partner and make the time to do it. Have simple talks but also, when possible, try to broaden the talk and go deep about something you are interested in or want to share with your partner.
Learn to Fight Fair: At some point, fighting is necessary to solve an issue in the relationship. Not fighting does not make a marriage healthy. In fact, couples that never argue, have a higher chance of becoming strangers under the same roof than those that do. Fighting needs to happen with mutual respect, kindness and taking ownership of your words or actions. Try to have some basic rules when fighting like, not yelling, not insulting and talking in private. Playing the blame game is not going to take you anywhere but cause resentment, anger or pain.
Spend More Time Together: Finding time to spend with your spouse is as important as your will to maintain your marriage. It is vital that you try to do things together on a regular basis. Most people have demanding careers, so heading home late is becoming the rule nowadays, but stop and rethink your schedule, try to simplify things around you. I always suggest my clients make a list of their commitments and then pick 4 or 5 only, and stick to this new list. Shortly, you will notice that some things you were doing were not as essential as you thought and will start recovering precious time for your spouse, family and for yourself.
Vacation & Dates: A vacation for the two of you together can release the strain of work, finances, kids, etc. It can definitely help reconnect with your partner in a romantic way. Going to a hotel on the weekend could be a good idea - for an easy getaway. Dates are also important, and ideally should happen once a week, but once a month a more than nothing, right?
More Sex: Sex plays an important role in the marital relationship. For some couples, sex has been left aside because of feeling the pressure to fulfill their partner’s needs and enjoy the process when they don’t feel like it. Other times, life changes a lot, like after the birth of a baby, demanding careers, and even due to health conditions. But having sex regularly can be the trump card for your marriage since it brings a high level of intimacy to the relationship resulting in a stronger and happier married life. But don’t think I am suggesting to become “bunnies”; research reveals that having sex once a week may be the magic number.
Marriage Retreats: There are many benefits of attending a marriage retreat. Just like anyone may plan on getting more education to improve professional skills or learn a new one, marriages benefit from retreats. Good marriage retreats may offer the help needed to improve your marriage even if you think your marriage is doing fine. Getting time alone strengthens your bond and rekindles the relationship. A marriage retreat may also provide a chance to meet other people interested in improving their marriages and with them many techniques to fire up the relationship through the guidance of an expert Couples Counselor.
Marriage Counseling: Marriage counseling is a good option if you are facing perpetual issues that result in constant arguing, little connection, little sex, affairs or betrayals, or simply a feeling of lost love or passion. The biggest mistake many couples make is that they wait too long before getting help. On average, couples wake 6.8 years to seek help, according to Dr. John Gottman. To consider counseling, it’s good to ask yourself the following questions:
Do you still care for your partner?
Do you feel you want to give the marriage a chance?
Do you feel you have tried everything on your own and nothing seems to change?
If you answered YES to these questions, then counseling might be a good option for you.
After all, the health of a marriage is a daily choice. We need to choose to love in order to make it work.
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To your relationship success!
Your Therapy Friend,
Sofia Robirosa is the owner of Infinite Therapeutic Services and is a Relationships & Parenting Expert. She offers individual, couples, and family counseling to individuals seeking to enhance their relationships, in her private practice, located in Plantation, FL. She attended Nova Southeastern University for both her Bachelor and Master Degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and in Business Administration. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Leader in Active Parenting for children and teens, an evidenced based program. She is also a Certified Addictions Professional (CAP). She is a passionately committed therapist, who thoroughly takes pride and joy from her job. She enjoys working with a culturally diverse population and is bilingual in Spanish and English. She is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and an active volunteer of the Broward Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. She loves her family, which consists of her husband, daughter, and two dogs. Some of her interests outside of work include spending time outdoors, traveling, and dining. Read more about her at: www.infinitetherapeuticservices.com and follow her on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/infinitetherapy/